Easiest ways to win friends and influence people
The question which always pops up in everyone's mind is how to influence others. Everyone has their answers. People are not complicated, it's the method which we use to understand them that makes it complicated. People are like an open book and it depends upon the reader to understand the book logically or to feel the book, as logic doesn't work with people it only works with things. Here are few ways to make it easier for you to win friends and influence people.
The only key to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it. You can get into other's minds by talking, but you can get into their heart only by listening to them. Each one of us is dealing with some kind of problem. The problem that others are facing might look smaller to us but in their perspective, it's not. Hence, it's necessary to view things from their perspective too, to understand them much better. It is very necessary to become a good listener than a good speaker. For this, encourage others to talk about themselves and make sure that you pay attention to them.
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. You can always avoid an argument with others even if you are right at that point of time. It seems mature to avoid the argument than bragging about things, as it will only make the situation worse. Next time you are in a situation in which someone is arguing, wait for three full seconds after their last sentence and speak. This encourages the person to keep talking, and by listening, you'll get a better understanding of what the problem is. The easiest way to do that is to go into any argument knowing that the best thing you can do is close your mouth and open your ears, improving your personal style gradually.
All of us love to think that we are good people at heart. well, we may even make deliberate sacrifices sometimes. But when it comes to truly appreciating others on a daily basis, we often fall short. The most significant thing to be remembered to win friends and to influence others is to appreciate them. Make it a habit to praise even the slightest of improvements. This creates a positive aura around yourself that others start cherishing.
Criticism is futile because it puts a person in defensive mode and usually makes him strive to justify himself. It is dangerous because it wounds a person's resentment. anyone can criticize, condemn and complain. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. This reminds me of this quote by Thomas Carlyle "A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men". When it's your turn to give criticism, you want to be sure your comments fit the former description. Remaining polite and constructive will help those under you feel better about their work and themselves, and will make a better impression on those above you. for instance, if a coworker is under-dressed for a networking event you're both attending, don't try to be clever and indirect something like, "most people like to look professional when they come to these". Just come out and say," I think you are under-dressed for this event," though you will probably want to frame it with a few of the other tips discussed above.
Thus, influence is about tapping into what others are already feeling, what they really want, and then finding a way to offer it to them in a mutually beneficial way. Stand out and make a lasting impression on others by listening to them more, discussing what matters to them, and take interest in their interests. Finally, the line between influence and manipulation often comes down to intent. So ask yourself if you believe. That is, do you truly believe that the idea or solution you seek to push someone toward is in that person’s best interest? And if your answer is yes, you have understood the very foundation of influencing—not manipulating.